Hi, hello, it’s been too long! A big art batch upload is incoming because I’ve got a lot of stuff to post! I’ve fallen so far behind and I gotta play catch-up now.

So anyway: where the hell have I been? What have I been getting up to?

If you’ve seen my previous journal, you’ll know I lost my job back in January 2023. I spent a lot of time looking for a new job. I did get one briefly at the end of February, but that turned out to be a pyramid scheme, and I was let go after I worked one week and fell sick with a deathly flu. And after a long time of job hunting, I nailed a pretty cushy job that’s close to home and has decent pay. The only downside is that it’s temporary and not in the career field I’ve been training for, so I’m still looking to get a permanent position for this one ends.

I’ve falling behind hard on rent and bills. I’ve had some great support from friends, but even so, I’m trying to catch up on a year of bills I owe. Any donation, however small, is greatly appreciated. My Ko-fi is here:
https://ko-fi.com/wolfnanaki

But anyway, for those of you who don’t follow me on Twitter, Tumblr or BlueSky, I’ve gotten entangled in a kinda insane story.

To put it bluntly: I’ve become the boogeyman of the Snoot Game fandom due to me calling out Cavemanon’s transphobia while being an avid Goodbye Volcano High fan. I got doxed back in October 2023 over it by a 4channer who wanted to shut me up. Afterward, I figured I’d stay quiet and leave them be, but then former devs reached out to me to ask me to share their documentation of Cavemanon’s poor management (not paying workers for their new game, community mismanagement, etc.). Cavemanon responded by personally attacking every named person who worked on the doc, and they made it a point to call me a man, link to Kiwifarms posts about me, and tell me to kill myself.

It's been a lot to deal with, and not good for my mental health. But I’m enduring, and I made some surprising friendships through all this. And anyway, hopefully I'll be around more.

Anyone that's followed me for a long time knows two things: I'm a trans woman and I've lived in Florida all my life.

Recently, Governor Ron DeSantis signed a new bill into law that went into immediate effect of restricting access to Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) for both trans youth and adults. It's banned for anyone under 18 entirely. For adults, the prescription must be written by a physician (and not a nurse practitioner, such as those at Planned Parenthood), and the patient must sign a new consent form. Currently, that form has not been finalized, so any trans person who wants to start or continue HRT in Florida... can't, at least not legally.

When DeSantis signed the bill, I immediately got a message from Planned Parenthood telling me that I won't be able to access my care there for a month while they figure out what to do about these laws. Meanwhile here I am steadily running out of my estradiol and progesterone.

"Couldn't you just buy your meds online?" Maybe, but I need money. I lost my job back in January and haven't been able to find work since. I've applied to over 100 different places, and I've only gotten two interviews despite having a great resume and meeting the applicant qualifications. So I'm stuck, and I'm struggling.

I have shinies enabled here, and I have a PayPal and Ko-fi in my LinkTree link below. If anyone wants to leave me something, or at the very least spreads the word, any help at all is sincerely appreciated.
https://linktr.ee/wolfnanaki

Thanks for taking the time to read this. ♥️🏳️‍⚧️

Short version: not good.

Long version: It's been three weeks since my store closed down. Since then, I've applied to dozens of jobs. I've gotten three interviews. No offers.

I was promised a severance pay from my company but the confirmation letter hasn't arrived yet. I've called and I've been told it's coming. Eventually.

Paying for bills, rent, and gas has left me with almost nothing. And mom's in a "make money or get out" position with me.

So...that all sucks.

I hate having to admit I'm struggling, especially since lots of people are because of COVID, but I'm low on options.

I'm selling a bunch of my stuff on eBay, including comics, ponies, virtual pets, and Animal Crossing cards:
https://www.ebay.com/usr/wolf6082

I have a Patreon, where I do coloring work and try to get at least one image done per month:
https://patreon.com/wolfnanaki

I have a Ko-Fi if you want to support one-time:
https://ko-fi.com/wolfnanaki

And as always, I'll do writing and coloring commissions. DM me if you're interested.

Thanks for your time reading this.

A lot of awful things are just kinda happening to me all at once, huh.

My store's closing in about a month and a half, meaning I'll be without a job. And my hours were cut during the pandemic, so I've been steadily losing income since March. My car's acting weird and I have to get it repaired. My tax return is stuck in limbo for some reason. I can't seem to find a better job. I still have to manage bills and rent.

And I've got, like... $100.

I've never been comfortable with begging, but it's desperate for me now.

I have a Patreon, where I do coloring work and try to get at least one image done per month:
https://patreon.com/wolfnanaki

I have a Ko-Fi if you want to support one-time:
https://ko-fi.com/wolfnanaki

I accept shinies here, and also, I'm open for limited coloring commissions. With everything going on I can probably only take a few for now, so DM me if you're interested.

Thank you so much for your time.

So, third time around, lol.

When my family and I moved in 2015, I immediately got a job at a print store near home. It's the same company I've worked at since 2011. I've dealt with two separate store closures from the same company before, and now, after five years, it's happening all over again. They want to redirect customers to another store further away in hopes of boosting the profitability of it.

So in two months, I'm losing my job. Again. This time, in the middle of a pandemic.

I've been trying for years to get out of there, to find a position that utilizes my skills for better hours and pay, but I haven't had any luck. Now this job is being swept out from under my feet, and I need to get my shit together and find a better job. I'll get severance pay if I stay til the end, which is nice. But I'm tired of being stuck in the same old rut.

Anyway, if you'd like to support me in these difficult times, I've started a Patreon. I'm going for one full colored image every month, and maybe some more stuff on the side if I can get more supporters.
https://patreon.com/wolfnanaki

I also have a Ko-fi if a one-time donation is more your thing.
https://ko-fi.com/wolfnanaki

Also, I accept shinies here.

Thank you for your time.

I've been passing this around various places (Discord, Twitter, etc.) and I thought I'd share it here too.

An artist friend of mine (Skyline) and his elderly father are at risk of being evicted during this pandemic because they can't make rent. His apparent only income source right now is his art, and he really needs help. I'm already financially struggling so there's not much I can do, but I hope spreading the word about his situation does him some good.

His GoFundMe:
https://gf.me/u/yfw4pu

His commission sheet on Tumblr (he's currently open for commissions):
https://skys-art-corner.tumblr.com/.....4907865694208/

His Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/skyart1985

His PayPal pool:
https://paypal.me/pools/c/8pSzsDLsm8

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

So as you've probably seen on the news, the situation with the pandemic is...not great.

I wish I had the option to stay home, but unfortunately, my job has deemed itself "essential" because our store sells work-from-home supplies, so I'll still be clocking in to work as the situation gets worse. Meanwhile our governor hasn't announced a lockdown or any sort of meaningful measure to handle the situation.

To be honest, I'm kind of terrified. I've never had that great of health and I don't want anything to happen to my friends or family either. But viruses don't leave you alone just because you ask nicely.

I just want to say: don't get overwhelmed by fear. Do what you can to not get sick and stop the spread. And also, tell somebody important in your life that you care about them. Maybe repair a broken bridge or two if you can. And start thinking about the social and political implications this virus has forced to the surface, because the world will be a very different place once it leaves.

Take care of yourselves, I love you all. <3

https://www.patreon.com/wolfnanaki

So I'm dealing with financial hardship, my job prospects are nil, and I want to improve my coloring and art. So I've launched a Patreon!

My current plan is to do two illustrations a month: one of my own choosing, one chosen by raffle. I may tweak things as I do.

Sharing and support is super appreciated!

We recently had to move and the whole ordeal was a big financial drain, so hopefully this might help in some way. Though if you want to donate directly without having to join Patreon: I have this link: https://www.paypal.me/wolfnanaki

Thanks for your time c:

Yes I'm on the ride now too. :v
Maybe this will motivate me to post more coloring and writing stuff.

I was heartbroken today from hearing about the passing of Shon Howell, aka King Cheetah.

I had found his art across the web well before I was old enough to look at it, let alone to know what furry art is. I’ve followed his work for years, and we became friends when I started commissioning him and coloring his art. I remember we talked to each other a few times, I think once on this podcast called Rowdy Ruff Bronies, and he always seemed like a positive and friendly guy.

Shon, you’ve always been a huge inspiration for me, and I don’t think I’d have found my place in the furry community if not for you. And you’ve done wonders for many other artists as well, all while improving your own art.

Thank you for your kind and motivating words, for sharing your wonderful art to the world, and for always being a positive voice in the furry art community.

Take care up there.

So expect to see me here a bit more than I used to be. :v

Also, I have a Discord server now, drop me a note and I'll send you an invite link!

So Tumblr announced this morning that starting December 17th, all NSFW content is banned. I made a post on there warning people and telling where and how to back up your blog, so I'll share it here too.

BACKING UP YOUR ENTIRE BLOG AT ONCE:

1. Click “Settings”.
2. Click the blog icon on the right side bar.
3. Scroll down to “Export”.
4. Click the “Export [blogname]” button.

It’ll take some time, but when it’s done, it’ll provide you a .ZIP file featuring all of the images and videos on your blog (in full resolution), as well as a .ZIP within that contains every post in HTML format, minus the Tumblr layout. You can only do this with your own blogs, and not blogs by other people.

When I first tried this feature out, I did have trouble exporting it with Windows Explorer, but WinRAR handled it no problem. Something to keep in mind.

And for those of you who found me here through that post, welcome, I hope you like my FA. I rarely post things nowadays because I don't buy commissions anymore, but expect maybe some coloring or gift art to pop up. c:

And if you were following my NSFW blog, enjoy it before I officially delete it on the 16th.

Okay so it turns out our house has mold.

They have to work on clearing it out, but it could take a month and we can’t stay in the house while it’s being repaired. We were able to rent another house nearby, but I wasn’t able to get my computer.

So I’m going to be kind of light on activity for about a month. I still get internet here, so I’ll pop on every now and then, but not as much.

Behave yourselves while I’m sorta gone ish. :v

https://www.gofundme.com/xxuzhr-ple.....p-save-our-dog

My dog's suffering with diabetes, we're running out of money, and mom's considering putting her down.

Anything helps.

As you probably know, I live in Florida. I'm kinda dealing with a hurricane. My power is out, the gutter collapsed and some of the shutters are lose and banging against the wall. But otherwise I'm fine.

I found out last month that this would be my last qualifying year to take a free trip to Israel. I didn't want to go alone, and my brother was already setting up to go, so we decided we're going together. I leave the 17th (today, in a few hours) and come back on the 28th (two Sundays from now).

I keep hearing that Israel is incredibly safe, but recent political bullshit has sort of put me on edge. Then again though, I can’t go through life scared and just waiting for things to blow over. Gotta learn to act when opportunity comes, I guess. Also I get to not be at my job for like 11 days, so there’s that.

My internet access will likely be scarce. However, I’ve started up an Instagram, so if I do get some internet, I’ll likely to be cross-posting from there.

https://www.instagram.com/wolfnanaki/

Before I go: just wanted to say you’re all awesome and I hope to be back soon. c:

- Nanaki

Okay so Skype is awful now. Thought you should know.

I'm on Discord if you wanna add me: Wolf Nanaki#0784

Also! I've updated my Amazon wishlist because a friend reminded me I should.
http://a.co/2PKbrVB

I know a lot of us are hurting.

This election cycle brought out the absolute worst parts of our country. It boiled them up to the surface and projected them on televisions across the nation…and then acted like it was all completely fine and normal. That saying horrible things about women, minorities, and immigrants is part of The American Way. That a person who goes into Twitter tirades at 3 in the morning is perfectly eligible to be in charge of an entire nation.

This guy, openly endorsed by the KKK, about to go on trial for a child rape case, who avoided taxes and bankrupt other people to enrich himself, who used charity money to buy a portrait of himself to hang in one of his restaurants, SOMEHOW became a serious contender for the President of the United States. And, at the time of writing, unless a few key states suddenly swing for Clinton, we’re looking at a President Trump in 2017.

For an unfortunately large number of people, Trump’s election might be seen as a symbol of validation, that hateful rhetoric and open deception are acceptable, that their hate for women, LGBT individuals, minorities, and much more are on point. I have zero doubt that harassment and violence will go up after this.

But don’t despair. Please.

I know the urge to drop ship and flee to Canada is very real. But our country wasn’t founded to be a stone wall forever. It was built to change and grow. The American system gives power to the people. Those of us who want to make our voices heard to the government will have an outlet to do so, somewhere, sometime. There’s far more to the government than just the President. As Bernie Sanders was saying, we need to take initiative into local elections too. WE need to put ourselves out there as the new political leaders.

And that goes beyond simply being in positions of power too. We need to form more organizations that help our communities, that educate our youth on their rights and freedoms, that ensure future generations have all the tools they’ll need to work within our system.

We can’t rely on 60 year old politicians to save us anymore. We have to be the new politicians. We can’t be complacent with just reblogging and retweeting support for causes. We have to fight tooth and nail, through courts and Congress, for our rights. If we’re not there representing our communities and struggles, who will be?

We can do this, but only if we stand together for the long haul. It’s not going to be easy, and we’re not always going to know who to turn to when things get rough. It’s our future, our environment, our children, our friends and family that are on the line as of tonight. Let’s fight for them.

- Nanaki

So as you’ve heard, there’s a hurricane coming to Florida. Unfortunately, that’s kinda where I live.

We’re stocked with food, water, and stuff to keep us from getting bored, and I’ve managed to get my car filled up this morning. My only issue now is to find a safe place to keep my car stored. I have a tarp, but no sandbags to weigh it down. I’m wondering if there’s a storage place I can leave it. I’ll have to investigate in the morning.

ALSO my brothers failed to finish putting the hurricane shutters up beyond the first floor, so my window is still exposed. That means I’m gonna have to make sure it gets done tomorrow before the storm hits. Greeeaaat.

In the meantime, I’m very likely to lose power and internet during all this, so don’t panic if I don’t post for a few days. I’ll be back before you know it. c:

This whole summer has been nothing but one disaster after another for me.

We got a message back from the people trying to garnish my and mom’s bank accounts, rejecting our affidavits and putting the burden of proof on us. Basically they’re telling me “fucking prove it’s your own money you shitlord”.

Meanwhile after a disappointing Employee Appreciation Day lunch at work, my glasses drove off while driving home, and when I reached down to grab them, I bumped into a car in front of me. Her car is mostly okay save for some superficial scratches, and neither her nor I were injured, but the front of my car is knocked all out of place, and it’s not going to be a cheap fix.

When we first moved here June of last year, mom would sometimes ask me “Are we gonna make it?” And I would tell her yes, because I had hope and optimism for the future.

But now I don’t know.

I really don’t know.

So after a weekend of panic, we finally have answers!

It’s my dad’s fault.

Back in the 90s, he got my mom a Ford Expedition, because she had four kids she needed to cart around. Turns out, he never finished paying in off. In 1998, it was repossessed, and dad filed a settlement with the company.

He never paid that settlement.

Turns out, he had been hoping that if he avoided paying it for long enough, Ford would eventually just shrug it off and move on. But it turns out they still gave a shit, 18 years later.

So why’d my mom lose the money? Because dad bought the car under her name. Why did I lose my money too? Because my bank account was linked to hers.

So now we know it wasn’t identity theft or anything insidious like that, but now the big question isn’t WHEN I’ll get my money back, it’s IF. And IF I get it back, then it’ll be two fucking months from now.

I’ve lost all of my money because my dad’s shit with his.

So…that’s my life.

So I went to buy groceries today, and mysteriously, my debit card wasn't accepted. I gave up and paid cash, and then headed home to check if everything was okay with my bank account.

Turns out, my account had no money in it. At all.

I got in touch with mom, and it turns out her account was completely emptied too. Eventually we got a hold of Bank of America, and they told us the money was taken by a law firm representing the state of Florida, and our money was being garnished to pay back a debt. They didn't know what debt it was, and mom doesn't know either. We never had any debt to our name; we've always paid our bills on time, and we've been hyper conservative with our spending.

We can't seem to get in touch with dad though.

We won't be able to get in touch with the lawyers responsible until Monday, And that's not even a guarantee that our money will be back.

But yeah. I have literally no money to my name now.

paypal.me/wolfnanaki

Buh. Just as things started to look okay.

Dad’s going to cut us off from our car insurance and phone bills next month, leaving us to have to pay for them ourselves. Meanwhile, mom’s lost her job and has to find a new one.

Essentially, dad’s just dumped an extra thousand dollars worth of bills on top of us while we’re all in the process of trying to find full-time work.

So that’s great.

*long sigh*

When mom filed the lease for this house last year, she only put two names on it: her and my grandmother. The idea was that if the landlord didn’t know about my brothers and I, we’d be more likely to get the house, and likely have a lower monthly rent. Only issue is, it’s kinda hard to hid that you have a whole bunch of 20-somethings living in the house, especially since they have to go through a security gate to get in and out of the community.

So today, just as I finally have a new license with my current address, we got a letter from the community warning us that I’m not on the lease. In three days, we either have to: A) fill out an application for an Extended Guest pass and pay for a $100 background check, or B) evict me.

I certainly don’t have money for a new place. And they can always say I failed the background check for any stupid reason, screwing me out of $100 and leaving me with no place to stay. And if I pay and do get through, I’m still out of $100, and I won’t have enough money to cover my share of the rent this month. As I mentioned in a previous post, with my share of the rent vs. the pay I make, I’ve been steadily losing money since we moved here.

…

I’m not comfortable with begging for money. I won’t ask or demand anything from anyone. You’ve all been great just by trying to keep me motivated to not give up on myself. But at this point, I don’t have any options.

My PayPal is wolfnanaki[at]live.com

I’ve been helping pay the rent since we moved here in June. Rent on this place is $1850 a month. Since mom and I make the most money of the group, we’ve been splitting the rent, $925 from each of us.

Thing is, at my job, I usually only make $800 a month.

So I checked my bank yesterday and saw I’m down to around a thousand bucks. Which is, you know, not especially great. Meanwhile all of my attempts at finding full-time work have lead me to fucking nowhere. So that’s also not all that great. I have some time, but come May, I’ll be down to a few hundred, and what about June?

Sigh.

I really don’t know what to do anymore.